You know when you do something you aren’t suppose to but you do it anyways and immediately afterwards you feel bad, well that’s how I feel.
The background story: I meet SE some time ago at the bar. We flirted every time we saw each other. But then again, I can be pretty friendly and flirty if I’m drinking. Anyways, we exchanged numbers, went out on a couple of dates, and that was pretty much it. No budding romance or a real connection. Too different. He was conservative, Republican, and a T-shirt Texas fan. All things I am not.
The thing is that even though we knew we weren’t a match we still kept in touch to hang out and such about once a month or so. Wednesday was our monthly hang out day.
I accidentally ended up spending the night. Bad call on my part but I was so tired and knew I would fall asleep at the wheel.
Any who, the next morning I got up and left while he started getting ready for work. As I was driving home I just kept thinking, “Why the f*** do I continue to do this to myself?!?” One, I know we aren’t right for each other. Two, I’m sure he likes me a lot more than I like him. Three, I’m moving in a month. Four, a relationship is the last thing I need right now. Five, I’m just looking for someone to have fun with. Six, I’m not looking for the right man, just a man for right now. As you can see, the list can go on.
I guess the point is that we all have needs. Yes, physiological needs as well. Even though we know we are only FWB, we continue to do it because it’s what is available right now. It’s only for a month then I’m off to the big city where, fingers crossed, my chances and selection of the male counterpart improve.
